TWENTY THINGS I’VE LEARNED BY TWENTY

Me?! Briana? Twenty years old? The big 2-0? When did this happen? Haha!

Let me give you twenty things that I have learned in the past twenty years.

  1. Grow your own personal, consistent relationship with God. 

This is something that I have always “preached.” You will not get into heaven through a relationship with your Pastor or even serving in your local assembly. 

Know God for yourself; I can not stress this enough. Pray throughout the day. Have quality alone time with God and read your Word.

2. Take care of yourself.

God has only given us one physical earthly body! ONE! UNO! Take care of it! Know what is right for your body. Eat well and exercise often. Go to the doctor and dermatologist regularly! Your body will thank you in your old age.

3. Not every friendship and relationship will be lifelong. 

This one stings. It hurts my heart, but it is an unfortunate reality of life.
Some people will only be in your life throughout your entire life story, some only a couple of chapters, some a paragraph, and some a mere sentence. Not everyone is permanent, and I had to grasp that concept in some painful seasons definitely.

4. Attend services at your local assembly + be involved.

I never realized how important this was until March of 2020 when COVID-19 hit. For months on end, I was unable to attend my church building physically. If I am transparent, when I stopped physically attending church, I saw myself gradually falling away from my spiritual disciplines. Slowly I started to neglect prayer, fasting, bible reading, and my alone time with God. I would much rather be on Hulu or Instagram. It was to a point where I could not even pray like how I used to, and I would struggle reading His word.

Going to church is vital. Online church is amazing- but there is nothing like going in the building for midweek service, prayer meeting, and Sunday services. I don’t care what anyone says; you need the body of Christ. You need the church. You need your Pastor. You can not run this Christian race alone.

5. Invest in your talents

God gives every last one of us gifts and talents to use to amplify the Kingdom of God and His name! No matter how big or small that skill is, He wants His children to use them!
For me, I’ve always enjoyed writing. I always saw writing as an intricate puzzle with words. To me, writing is constructing sentences and paragraphs to build a fascinating story in someone’s mind. Growing up, my mom always took me to writing camps over the summer, and I would love every moment of it! I am so thankful she took the initiative. Also, during quarantine, I was able to take voice lessons by my amazing vocal instructor, Wedeline Casimir (World Changers Studio: @_wcstudios, check them out)! I learned so much about singing and worship leading in general. I can’t wait to use everything I learned in those lessons in the Kingdom of God one day!

So whatever your gift is, use it for the Kingdom of God to spread the name of Jesus!

6. Materialistic items only give happiness for only a short moment.

It is okay to splurge now and again or to own a few nice luxury items. All of that is nice, but it does not grant happiness or contentment. I can remember once buying an expensive item that I wanted for a very long time. I originally thought I would feel so happy after making that purchase. I was wrong. After I bought the item, I felt nothing but emptiness on the inside.

I then realized that true contentment and happiness come directly from God and not the materialistic things of this world.

7. Travel!

Growing up, my parents invested their money into traveling! Those adventures and the quality family time spent on those trips are permanently embedded in my memory. Toys, gadgets, and clothing will only be in your life for a short fraction. Memories will last a lifetime. Make those memories count by going on an adventure with the ones you love.

8. Social media is a false reality- I promise.

I wrote in my last post how social media is notably deceptive. It can make someone yearn for something that is not even real but a mere illusion.

9. Don’t be ashamed to go to community college.

I would have definitely started at a community college first, rather than a four-year college. Beginning your higher education journey at a community college will save you or your parents thousands of dollars. You will be forever grateful in the long run.

College is a financial investment that puts students in debt for many, many years. Go to community college to find out what you want to do and then transfer to University. The first two years are typically prereqs that are credits that are easy to transfer.

10. Spend your money wisely.

You do not need to buy iced coffee every morning.
You do not need to go to H&M for their 50% off sale.
You do not need that Kate Spade bag.
You do not need to have Netflix, Disney+, and Hulu.

Use your money wisely and live within your means. It goes a long way.

11. Live in the moment

We are in a social media-obsessed world where everyone’s nose is stuck in their phones, obsessing over other people’s online life.

Your phone can wait. Social media can wait. Embrace quality time with the one’s around you.

12. Gossiping is lethal

I never knew how hurtful gossip was until I overheard someone I trusted speaking ill concerning me. Their hurtful words pulled me apart and were uttered in a distasteful way. I was truly heartbroken. Learn how to remove gossip from your conversations and avoid it at all costs.

My motto is, “if it doesn’t uplift or encourage, don’t say it.”

13. Life does not begin with a significant other

Enjoy and embrace your single season, my friends! Don’t rush it. If it is in God’s will for you to be married, it will happen! Even if you never get married, you’re good! Your worth doesn’t come from marriage or being in a relationship. Live your life and be content in whatever season you are in. πŸ™‚

14. Listen, respect, and honor your elders.

Our elders are wiser, smarter, and know more than us. Don’t just listen to them, but follow their advice. They’ve been around longer than us and don’t want us to repeat harmful and toxic cycles.

15. Take lots of photos with the ones you love.

Photos are the closest thing we have to time travel. So take as many photos as you possibly can so you can look back at them in the future!

16. Value your friends and the people around you 

I believe that it is so important to value those you call a friend. Call them or send them a quick text every once in a while! Remember their special days such as their birthdays or anniversaries. Acknowledge their good works. Love on them because you truly need them.

17. Sin will only last for a season.

I believe that I am currently at the age where I can see the full long-term effect of sin. I’ve seen it in myself and others. It is ugly and detrimental. If you give your flesh or the adversary a centimeter, it will take it and go ten miles. I promise you that a life of sin, no relationship with God, and no accountability will only lead you to a life of destruction. It will not come out well, I promise.

My mother always said to me growing up that “sin will ALWAYS take you further than you ever wanted to go.” I never understood this as a child, but now I fully understand. Don’t allow yourself to be friends with sin, not even acquaintances. Stay as far away from it as possible. Remove anything from your life that is displeasing to God.

18. Gratitude is essential 

It is so important to be grateful. Having an ungrateful heart and never saying the two important words, “thank you,” is so displeasing. Be thankful, even for the little things.

19. Consistency + a good work ethic beats talent.

Working hard and being consistent goes a long way, especially in the workplace and working in God’s kingdom. Those that work hard always go farther than those that are solely gifted.

20. Privacy is so important. 

We live in such a “tell-all” society in regards to social media. Not everything needs to be on full display to the entire world. Some moments are so sacred and intimate that they should be left for yourself or those in your closest circle.

I have learned so much in these past twenty years. I can’t wait for the next twenty, if the Lord tarries! He has been so good. πŸ™‚

Idolizing Relationships.

An honest and transparent post geared toward my fellow Christian singles- 

Sometimes as Christians, I believe that it can be easy for us to idolize being married or merely having a significant other. You may think that idolatry is a strong word for me to use, but an idol can be anything that one allows to be at the forefront of their mind at all times. More importantly, an idol is anything one puts before God (Exodus 20:3).

My friend, I am here to say to you that idolatry is rather unhealthy to the mind, and in God’s eye, it is a sin. (1 Corinthians 10:14) 

Let me be abundantly clear; there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be married. Marriage is a beautiful union. However, as Christian singles, we have to be mindful that we do not allow this desire to become an idol in our lives.

As young people, social media is in our face 24/7. How often do we see our friends on Facebook and Instagram starting relationships, getting engaged, and later tying the knot? Constantly.

Social media convinces us that marriage is life’s ultimate goal. That there’s nothing more to life than having a significant other. That could not be further from the truth. Yes, marriage is beautiful and enjoyable, but I promise you that there’s so much more to this life than being married. Being married or having a significant other does not equate to a lifetime of happiness, nor does it guarantee merriment.

As singles, it is easy for us to compare our lives or a lack-of-a-partner to those seemingly perfect couples we see on the internet. Here’s the reality- not many couples are vulnerable enough to share their lowest moments on the internet (which they are not obligated to and, truthfully, should not). The majority of the people or couples online, only share their best moments or their high points. The moments where they look and feel their best. Social media is extremely deceptive and what I believe to be a false reality. Social media can make one idolize something that someone else has, something that’s possibly not even real. Truthfully, you never know what anyone or any couple goes through.Β 

I have also noticed that it is easy to become naΓ―ve out of desperation. Some singles believe that once they get married, all of their problems will go away. That once they’re married, they would no longer struggle with lust, pornography, or perversion. That is not true.  Marriage will not solve a lust problem, but it could damage and ultimately destroy a marriage if it is not resolved before marriage. One must bring those inner-personal issues to God before even entering a relationship. Carry every struggle to God in prayer and be honest with Him! Jesus truly cares. (Philippians 4:6). 

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As I close, I want to say this; it is okay if you have never had a boyfriend or girlfriend. It is okay if you have never been on a date or never got flowers in the mail. That is perfectly okay, and don’t allow anyone to let you feel less than. 

Let me remind you that your worth and value does not come from any man or any woman. Your worth only comes from Jesus; you were bought with a precious price (1 Corinthians 6:20).

So to all my friends that saw all those engagements over the holidays and Valentine’s Day post last weekend and felt a tad bit discouraged: 

  • Travel with friends
  • Read a new book
  • Try new foods 
  • Learn how to play an instrument
  • Find your purpose 
  • Learn a new language 
  • Go back to school and finish that degree! 

Go live your best life and focus on yourself! 

 I always believed that it is better to be single, wishing you were married, rather than being married wishing you were single! So, learn how to embrace your singleness, be content in the Lord and never settle! 

Wait on the Lord because if it is in HIS PERFECT WILL for you to be married, it will happen! Just trust in God and let Him use you in whatever season you’re in! πŸ™‚ 

Remain faithful to the precious faith, my friends! 

Much love, 

Bri πŸ™‚